Any day, I expect to discover that my biceps can make smoothies...

On some level, I understood that there would have to be some retooling with this whole pregnancy thing. I mean, they tell me that the goober is going to get a good bit bigger in the coming months, and he/she has to eat. But the reality is a good bit weirder than I had imagined. For one thing, it's much faster than I'd imagined. I'm only 7 weeks in--the goober is approximately the size of a tic tac--but I'm already looking more like a swimsuit model than I'm entirely comfortable with.

But on a more basic level, there is something very strange about your body changing into something else. You spend your whole life with your body parts performing one familiar set of functions, and suddenly those parts go off and start preparing to do something else. It's as if you spent your entire life as a giant robot, only to wake up one day and discover that you can also transform into a toaster oven. It kind of makes you rethink your identity as a free-willed, independent entity.

Also, I feel like I should be making the chuh-chuh-chuh-chuh-CHUK noise ALL THE TIME.