Because bullet points are easy...

The goober is now kicking hard enough to be visible. My belly shudders and shakes like you wouldn't believe.

She occasionally gets herself wedged into an awkward position. When that happens, it looks like my belly has corners.

She likes the Beatles. Or hates them. It's hard to tell.

I'm now 24 weeks pregnant, but most people seem surprised to hear that. Apparently, I don't look 5-1/2 months pregnant.

Baby clothes are so endearing. They're like big people clothes...except tiny.

Mmmmm...tiny baby feet.

Even the word "waddle" is inelegant.

I'm sitting on a whole mess of blog post ideas right now. But I'm dealing with some major job-market craziness right now (there's one of the blog posts!) so they will have to stew around in my brain for a few more days.

But I am definitely feeling more pregnant these days, so I thought that I would check in briefly with some modest revelations.

1) I'm getting bigger! I have a decided leading edge these days--my belly protrudes a good 2-3 inches further than it used to. I have decided to measure my belly's progress by the depth of my belly button, which is getting frighteningly shallow.

2) On a similar note, I've had a few belly-related incidents lately. I have bumped several restaurant patrons with it, and had at least one plate-tipping incident at a physics-department function.

3) That said, the extent to which my belly flies it's colors publicly depends heavily on what I'm wearing. I'm not nearly as big as the average 4-to-5-month-pregnant lady, and in an appropriate set of clothes, I barely look pregnant at all. I tried on my suit this afternoon (I have a preliminary interview tomorrow) and not only did it fit (barely), but with the jacket buttoned, I look remarkably like my pre-pregnancy self. At the same time, slap a t-shirt on me, and I'm definitely belly-tacular.

4) Despite being in the land of candy-pooping unicorns known as the second trimester, being pregnant still sucks. Among the many sucky elements are the following:

*I'm only allowed to sleep on my left side. I hate sleeping on only one side.

*A variety of pelvic pain from relaxin-related tendon stretching

*Severely limited diet coke consumption

*Leg cramps

*Hip cramps

*Foot cramps (detect a pattern?)

*Very little sleep, despite limited diet coke consumption

*An increasingly waddle-like gait

*Constant hunger

5) On the plus side, the constant hunger means that I have the green light to eat some things that would normally be off the menu--namely, red meat. I apparently let myself get a wee bit deficient in something, because I have been engaged in a week-long red meat binge. It started with an emergency late-night ground beef run. I knew that I was in trouble when I looked at that pile of emergency beef and had an overwhelming urge to eat the whole pound raw. Since then, Ross has made me steak twice and I've had at least one (usually two) meals a day containing red meat.

6) I feel much better now, thank you.

7) Waddling is a very inefficient method of locomotion. I have yet to determine who I complain to about this.

8) This would be much easier without narcolepsy. On the other hand, I've had some really epic freaky dreams, including one featuring zombie superman. It turns out that zombie superman is a real bastard.

9) Ross is wonderful. But you knew that already.

20-1/2 weeks

Our perinatal exam was this morning.

Meet the Goober!

Note the cute little nose and the fist in the mouth

Everything is normal, and it has all of the parts one would expect from a good little Goober, including 10 little tasty toes:

Oh, and you wanted to know the sex? Well....

It's a Girl!

She's measuring a little big, given her due date. (Shocking, I know, given her parents)

She weighs 15 oz, which is about what most babies weigh at around 22 weeks.

Already an overachiever!

Morse code

KICK-kickkickkickkickickick-KICK-kickkickkickkickkickkickkick

Things I have craved...

*Pot pie

*Watermelon

*Hot dogs and baked beans

*Baked potato with cheese and bacon

*Vanilla yogurt

*Pot Pie

*Broccoli (I ate all of the stems from three heads in one sitting)

*Jello (raspberry, lime, or orange)

*Salad

*Pickles (yes, I know)

*Cauliflower

*Steak

*POT PIE GOD DAMN IT GIVE ME A POT PIE!!!!

Good news is, I float better than ever!

I went swimming for the first time in a week, and I was a wee bit out of breath while swimming free style (my worst stroke). It's almost as if someone was sitting on my lungs.

Not to point any fingers, but there's only one person with access to that particular organ at the moment.

Ahem.

Catch up

Sorry I haven't written much lately. Since I've moved into the unicorn-filled land of sunshine and light known as the Second Trimester, I'm not nauseous all day long, which means that I can go whole hours without thinking about the fact that I'm pregnant! This is a welcome change.

That's not to say that nothing's been happening. We had our second OB appointment, where we got to see the Goober in action again (no pictures--but they weren't as clear this time anyway). The ultrasound machine is pretty amazing. I was always soundly unimpressed by ultrasound images before, but it turns out that they are WAY more interesting in motion, primarily because they are much easier for the lay person to interpret. The baby waved at us, did a little kick-kick jig, and even gave us a full-on view of his/her little hand. Ross made the squeaky squeal he makes when he's really happy, which made me really happy too.

We also had our third OB appointment, which was much less eventful. I learned that I gained 3 pounds between 11 and 15 weeks, which is 3 pounds more that I thought I'd gained! We also got to listen to the baby's heartbeat with the doppler. That was pretty cool, but even cooler was that the baby kicked the wand, giving me auditory confirmation that I can, indeed, feel the baby kick.

Since that appointment, the little goober has been kicking up a storm! Wilco is apparently a favorite--we went to a concert for Ross's birthday last week, and the baby kicked through the whole thing. Since then, the kicking sessions have increased in frequency and power. There are two different kinds of motion--a squirming feeling, almost like worms wriggling around, which I interpret as a baby booty shake, and a solid tap, which is clearly either a kick or a punch. The level of activity in there is pretty amazing. I'm halfway convinced that I'm not gestating a baby, but rather a billy goat.

Ok--that's about all I can manage. I have to go eat something now, and then maybe I'll fall asleep.

The amazing shifting woman...

I am outgrowing clothes at an alarming pace. First, I outgrew half of my bras.

A few weeks later, I outgrew the other half, along with all of my button-down shirts.

My normal pants stopped fitting last week, forcing me into some creative architecture (I've since replaced my slouchy jeans, which are my only pants that still fit)

Overall, I've changed shape a lot. I've gained a whole cup size. I'm significantly wider around the waist, and in the past few days, my belly has decided that it's about time to start exploring the outside world. My belly button is already becoming disturbingly shallow.

All of that would be perfectly normal, were it not for the following data, collected incredibly scientifically over a number of weeks :

Pre-pregnancy weight: 190

End-of-first-trimester weight (12 weeks): 185 Weight this morning (15 weeks): 185

(all weights taken on my home scale, at the same point in my morning routine):

Apparently, it's just moving around. Kind of creepy, when you think about it.

Looking forward to no-pants Saturday...

Having busted a belt loop on my trusty slouchy jeans, I've been forced to move into other, more form-fitting pants. This required a bit of...architecture.

What is currently keeping my pants together:

1) a half-zipped zipper

2) a hair tie, looped through the button hole

3) a belt (strangely, on the same hole as always)

4) a belly band, covering the whole mess

Methinks I've earned a trip to the mall.